It really and truly isn't Kansas anymore....

Dear Friends,
At some point I will have to take a look at the notes I have been jotting down to share with you. For now I want to tell you about the Muslim wedding celebration which I attended last night.

A friend from the college came and fetched me and took me to the celebration. When we left the car and walked towards the festivities I could see that a large group of men was sitting at tables outside of the enormous tent which had been rented. We walked through the crowd and went inside the tent.

The tent was mostly for the women, although there were a few men (more as the evening progressed), including my friend. The women were seated at round tables and the first thing that struck me was how colorful they were! Most of them were wearing either headscarves or material wrapped around all of them. My friend told me that the ones with uncovered heads are not married. I was not aware of that distinction in Islam.

I could not tell why some had scarves and some had full wraps. Occasionally someone would have a scarf that slipped down and her hair would look just lovely in a bun or other hairdo. I need to find out more about the reasons that Muslim women wear head coverings because I was aware that in spite of how beautiful the colors were of the scarves, I would have loved to see their hair as well. By the way, some of them were incredibly creative and fashionable with their head coverings.

Primarily the guests at the celebration were Arabic, but I also saw many African guests. As a broad generalization in Sudan the Arab population is usually Muslim and the Africans are usually Christian. Northern Sudan, where I am, is considered by many to be Arabic and is Muslim. Southern Sudan is considered by many to be African and the majority population is Christian.

I learned last night that in a Muslim wedding there is a contract that is signed before the wedding festivities, and then the celebration takes place afterward where friends are invited to join in with the wedding party. This particular celebration was lavish, there were several bands and singers, plenty of food and soda being passed around, much noise, many children. There was not a formal reception line and I didn't see a wedding cake. The bride and groom began in beautiful Arabic clothing and at some point in the evening changed and came back wearing what I thought was traditional Western wedding gear -- she was in a white gown with a veil and he was in a suit.

I learned last night that in Sudan a dowry is paid by the man to the woman and her family before they can marry. Also, it is the man who pays for the wedding, whether lavish or simple. In India the dowry (or brideprice) is paid to the woman. In China the dowry is paid to the man. By the way, in Sudan it is not only the Muslim men who pay a dowry, a bride price, it is the Christian men as well.

What I am trying to figure out is which way is better for the woman? In China a woman has traditionally been considered a liability. But does a woman become an economic commodity when the dowry is paid to her and her family? If anyone has thoughts on this, I would be interested in "hearing" them.
Blessings,
Debbie