Sunday, March 1, 2015

SERMON: You are Forgiven!


“You are Forgiven”
Genesis 17:1-7
Romans 4:13-25
Beechmont Presbyterian Church
Rev. Debbie Blane

My visa has come through and I am working on my airline tickets for beginning the journey back to South Sudan.  It is about a two to three days journey.  I will leave Louisville one day and the next day or the day after I will be in Juba, the capital of South Sudan.

I will be returning to a war-torn country, still warring, not yet at peace.  No one knows when, or if, peace will come. 

I teach theology at the Nile Theological College in South Sudan.  The college used to be in a place called Malakal, near the border with northern Sudan.  Malakal was destroyed early on in this civil war.  So now the college will be in Juba. 

I teach theology.  I consider this is a miraculous thing.  I will again teach theology to a group of students who are traumatized, wounded physically and emotionally and spiritually, and who may hate each other depending on how deep their tribalism reaches. 

While I was not evacuated from South Sudan with the war, many of my colleagues were.  I left the country on December 13, 2013 to have Christmas in Ethiopia; the violence broke out first in Juba on the 15th of December.  I missed it by a whisper.

When I left I expected to back in South Sudan in a month, and I was to begin teaching again soon after that.  I was to teach the Theology class of Sin and Salvation. 

I see the irony in this.  Sin and Salvation.  And the great great gift.

A people have been plunged into evil darkness and I was to teach the class on Sin and Salvation.

Sin sucks a person dry.  It eats a person from the inside out.  Sin is hate.  Sin is the desire for revenge.  Sin is seeing one’s parents, one’s wife or husband, one’s children, murdered in front of you.  Sin is somehow escaping being murdered just to spend the rest of your life figuring out how to find justice for those murders.  You want to murder the person who murdered your people. 

That is sin.

Salvation.  That one is not quite as obvious. 

There are the folks that believe that saving a soul is salvation.  This may well be a part of salvation, but it is not the whole story.  Not by a long shot.

Salvation is learning how to live again. 

Salvation is learning how to bare one’s soul to Christ and say,
This is it.
This is who I am
I sinned
I killed
I hated
I was not merciful

And I hurt so bad now because of the things I did, the things that I thought, and the things that I wanted – that sometimes I want to die. 
Or I hurt so bad now because of the things that were done to me, the things that I thought, and the things that I wanted – that sometimes I want to do.

Sometimes salvation is doing one of the hardest things of all.

Sometimes salvation is knowing that we are forgiven.
Once we accept that forgiveness, then salvation becomes forgiving ourselves.

The passages today from our Scriptures tell us about God’s great, great faithfulness.  The passages also reveal to us that the one thing that really matters in the end is our own FAITH. 

Abraham’s FAITH was reckoned to him as righteousness.  Abraham was far from perfect.  In other parts of Genesis we find that Abraham at one point even passed off his wife, Sarah, off as his sister to save his own skin in an uncomfortable situation.  He put her in danger because he was afraid.  And still God established a covenant with Abraham. 

Abraham and Sarah took matters into their own hands when God was slow to provide the heir known as Isaac.  That chapter in our faith history illustrates some very dysfunctional family dynamics and yet God still established a covenant with Abraham.

In Romans, the Apostle Paul reminds us about the story of Abraham and the covenant.  This story is clearly important as a part of our own faith story. 

In the Presbyterian Church membership is open to all who have been baptized in the name of the Triune God.  After baptism the only requirement for membership is faith.  Do you believe in Jesus Christ?  Do you have faith in Jesus Christ?

There is an understanding that everything, EVERYTHING, follows from that faith.

Confession of sins.
Realization of how that sin has defined one’s life and the lives of those around us.
A realization that without Jesus Christ we are hollow shells of humanity.
Healing.


The most important piece of the journey, what changes us and brings us to our knees is knowing that:

WE ARE FORGIVEN.

We sin and we are forgiven.  The thing of it is that eventually the forgiveness leads us to becoming new creations.  That is, when we have faith in Jesus Christ and we live our lives from that faith, eventually we will become different people.

If I am an artist I will probably still be an artist, the core of who we are is still there.  The difference is how I see the world and the people around me.  I will see them from the eyes of a person that has been forgiven and healed.

THIS is what I will teach my students in South Sudan when I return to teach them about Sin and Salvation. 

Yes, you have done some terrible things.  Yes, you have had some terrible things done to you.  But the whole time Jesus was with you.  Not preventing the things, but instead walking with you, holding you, loving you.  And in the midst of the very worst of what you were doing, forgiving you.  And in the midst of the very worst that were being done to you, forgiving the person doing it.

As hard as it is to let go of the desire for revenge, our journey with Christ will enable us to be able to do that eventually.

I thank God for the messed up people that are portrayed in the faith stories in our Bible.  Through their mistakes and the humanity that is portrayed in their stories we can know that indeed even when we are the worst that we can be, we are still loved and we are still FORGIVEN.

Do not sin so that forgiveness abounds.  Instead know that the forgiveness and the healing that comes with that forgiveness will lead to having less of a tendency to desire sin. 

We are forgiven.  We are new people.
Thanks be to God!
Amen.



Sunday, February 22, 2015

Today's Sermon: "Let My People Go". Seeking freedom from captivity to the Pharaoh's in our lives and in the world.

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“Let My People Go”
Exodus 6:1-9
Beechmont Presbyterian Church
Louisville, KY
Feb. 22, 2015
 Rev. Debbie Blane

You know, the thing of it is that we are all held in captivity.   Captive to something.

Pharaoh goes by many, many names.  Pharaoh is addiction.  Pharaoh is a seeming inability to leave an abusive marriage.  Pharaoh is the belief that God intends men to act as if THEY are God in the lives of their wives and daughters.  Pharaoh is the belief between two men that they have the right to drag an entire country into their private power struggle, as is happening right now in South Sudan.

Being human is to be held captive to something.

Being God, which WE are not, is to desire to free the captives and heal the prisoners. 

In Exodus 6:6-9 God reveals the actions that would free the slaves in Egypt.  They are actions that also would free the slaves now, today and in the future.  Because Exodus speaks to us, you and me, just as much as it did to the Hebrews in Egypt.

God will:
1.  Take us out from under the yoke of captivity. 
2.  Free us from being slaves to the captors.
3.  Redeem us with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.
4.  Take us as God’s own people.
5.  GOD will be our God.  GOD will be our God.  The abuser will not be our God.
6.  We will know that God is God, the One who freed us from captivity to the yoke of bondage.  The yoke of bondage to someone, something or someplace.

When God speaks of possessing the lands that were promised to our spiritual ancestors, we can know that this is a promise to us as well.  God will care for our physical and spiritual needs.  We will possess a home that is safe and we will know that we are cared for. 
This does NOT mean that the original land of Israel is the promise.  It is NOT the promise.  But it does mean that God promises to take us from captivity and bring us to a place of love and safety.

Verse 9 tells us that when Moses spoke to God’s people, to the people whose care was given into Moses’ hands, they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and harsh labor.

Imagine what captivity would have been like for the Israelites.  They were in a foreign land.  In the beginning in that land they had been treated with respect and love.  They had been welcomed as a part of the people who already lived in Egypt.
As Pharaohs were born, ruled and died and new ones were born and rose to power the royal memory of the first Israelites that had come to Egypt faded.   A fear developed and grew that the numerous Israelites would swell in number to a greater population than that of the indigenous population. 

And so the Pharaoh who was Moses’ adopted grandfather made the Israelite’s slaves.  The Israelites did the heavy lifting.  They made bricks, they built the buildings.  They sweated and heaved and endured harsh labor.  And they cried out to the Lord. 

Do you do someone else’s heavy lifting?  Do you sweat and heave and endure harsh labor?  Are you a victim in your own home, or do you know someone else who is? 

Despite the thousands of years that separate us today, here in Louisville, in the United States, from the Egypt of the Pharaohs and the Israelites, despite the differences in cultures and language:  God speaks to us today through this Scripture passage just as God spoke through Moses to the Israelites all of those many, many centuries ago. 

When we are in pain and when we are burdened.  When we are in prison, whether a real prison or a psychological or spiritual prison, when we are held captive to something in our lives that is not GOD, we can cry out to God.  And God will tell that Pharaoh, that slave driver who keeps us in prison to let us go.  God will tell that person to let God’s child go!

It may not happen automatically or quickly.  It may be a process of our healing and being transformed by God into new people, as it was for the Hebrew people of Exodus.   It may be that God will give us a new life and new people in our new life.

But we can know that just as God took the Israelites as God’s own people and brought them out of the yoke of slavery in Egypt, God will bring us out of our own particular slavery, our own particular prisons.

When we despair, when we are frightened and we feel alone, when our burdens are too heavy and threaten to crush us, we can call on God for help.  And God will answer.

God will say to the demons:  LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!  And God will transform us so that the demons will have nothing to hold onto.  They WILL let go. 

The God of Abraham, Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca and Jacob and Leah and Rachel is our God too.  We know God through God’s child, Jesus.  Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob, Leah and Rachel knew God in a different way, but they did know God.  And so did Moses. 

And guess what?  SO DO WE!!!!!


We also need to remember that God is not the God only of individual people and families, God is the God of economic systems that display and practice systemic injustice, and of countries where the leadership seeks to possess the power and control over other people that should rightfully belong to God.

About a year ago in Nigeria the Nigerian government responded ineptly and weakly to the kidnapping of almost 300 young women and girls by a terrorist group which was able to take these females at gunpoint from a boarding school in a remote area of the country.  It was only after the parents somehow made this issue known to the international community that the government began to ask for international help in finding the girls.  Power and control did not want to admit to weakness and was willing to sacrifice these girls and their families on the altar of their desire to play God.    What plan are they going to come up with to educate young women, AND young men, when it is not safe to send them to boarding schools for their education?  The school had guards.  That wasn’t enough.  The terrorist group is known as Boko Haram.  The name literally means “Western education is forbidden.” 

What can protect human beings from the kind of demonic power that believes that it can do whatever it wants to achieve its own ends and force its beliefs on the world?    Boko Haram has continued to kidnap and destroy and disrupt and cause terror.   
What kind of response will be there to this evil that will avoid generational ignorance and radical religious beliefs to be passed on.    Ignorance and poverty are the birthplaces of this kind of terrorism.  This kind of captivity.  This kind of pharaoh.

In South Sudan the power mongering of two men has set the entire country on fire with war, displacing over a million people and leaving the country on the brink of famine as a civil war has raged for over a year now.

There is Ukraine where the eyes of Russia’s lust for empire have split and divided the ethnic populations one from another, people who have lived together peaceably for generations and years of time. 

There is Syria where the inability of a leader to let go of power and control and say, no more fighting, killing, raping, bloodletting, do what is right for the well-being of my people.

There is, I believe, the newest incarnation of evil that is invading American homes through the television set every day and every night.  It is named ISIS, this particular pharaoh.  This pharaoh burns people alive, beheads innocent journalists and humanitarian workers and appears to hold the global community hostage as it acts out its doctrine of self-righteous justice.

There is Israel and Palestine where the hidden desires of the Israelis to take the whole of the land that was originally the home of the Palestinians are being revealed in due time and in due course to the world.  And the world is standing by and allowing the occupation to take more and more land and destroy more and more lives.  The battle that was alive and well in August of 2014 that took place in the context of the Gaza Strip killed – murdered – a disproportionate number of people, primarily civilians.  Every life, Palestinian and Israeli is precious in God’s eyes.  This should not be happening.

What should our response as Christians be to these atrocities that are being committed, sometimes in the name of Christianity itself?   Our response should be, LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!  Often because of our own Pharaohs, our own captivity to the status quo, our response is to turn a blind eye. 

When we ourselves are healed we can cry LET MY PEOPLE GO on behalf of the people who are still captive and are too weak to be heard by the Pharaohs of this world.  I think that as part of the worldwide Christian community we also need to be considering, besides trying to kill evil with guns, what is the response that Christ would have us make to evil? 
Remember that at the beginning of this sermon I said that in our own individual lives when we cry out to God to free us from our Pharaohs, God will respond.  We will be changed and evil will no longer have a place to grasp us.  And this may take time.

We cannot expect this global evil to be eradicated tomorrow.  At the same time we cannot be defeated by what is happening.  Pharaoh is running loose in the world.  How can we dig up the roots that are the underlying cause for this evil, this Pharaoh, to have a stronghold in God’s world?  How we can be a part of the world being transformed as we ourselves have been transformed?

I suggest that we look at the Gospel of Luke for a start.  In Luke 11:21-22 Jesus says, “When a strong man, fully armed, guards his castle, his property is safe.  But when one stronger than he attacks him and overpowers him, he takes away his armor in which he trusted and divides his plunder.”  Evil is the strong man.  How can the strong man be taken off guard and unarmed?  How do we find the weak places in this evil?  If we try to kill the enemy there are only others to continue filling in the empty spaces in the battle line.





In Luke 11:24-26 Jesus says further, “When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting place, but not finding any, it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’  When it comes, it finds it swept and in order.  Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and live there; and the last state of that person is worse than the first.” 

What does it take for Christians to get at the roots of the poverty and ignorance that cause such evil to multiply and wreak such havoc? 

As an alternative to war, to cleaning out or destroying that may produce more evil instead of eradication, we must be asking Christ, how do we show such love, your love, that this hate, this evil, this Pharaoh will be transformed?

Let my people go, let our people go and thanks be to God for being our, and their, liberator, redeemer and sustainer.  God opens wide God’s arms of justice and mercy and welcomes us, bids us to enter an embrace that will free us and make us whole.

We just have to cry out and then accept the invitation.
May the God of Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob, Leah and Rachel boldly be your God as well. 
May you find the freedom in your own lives from your own prisons, from your own Pharaohs.  May the God who promises redemption fulfil that promise in your own life and in the lives of those who you love, and in the lives of the neighbors who surround you and in the life of our global community.

May God bless you and be with you as you embark on your own journey to wholeness.  You know the saying, walk don’t run?  Well in this case, out of prison into God’s arms….run, do not walk! 

And our God says:  LET MY PEOPLE GO!  And it is so.
Amen.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Louisville.

Dear Friends,
Last week was busy, substantial and exhausting.  Last week I was blessed to be a Missionary Advisory Delegate (MAD) at the 221st General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA).

A week ago I attended church at the Broadstreet Presbyterian church in Detroit, Michigan.  It is the historic African American Presbyterian church in Detroit.  The worship style was distinctly different from the worship styles of primarily caucasion attended Presbyterian churches in the states and also distinctly different from the African churches in Africa which I have attended.

In the midst of worship I had the realization that just as I have an interest in my historical origins in places like Ireland and Scotland, it makes sense to me that African Americans would have an interest in finding out about their African roots and historical origins.

Scottish bagpipes joyfully led the beginning of the opening of the GA last week.  Presbyterians have our roots in Scotland.  Many people who have nothing of Scottish blood in their veins are Presbyterian, and at the same time Scotland is where our Presbyterian heritage hails from thanks to John Knox.  The Reformed tradition comes from John Calvin in Geneva, but Presbyterians, we are specifically from Scotland.

There were adventures that I hope were once in a lifetime getting to the Hampton Inn here in Louisville to begin three days of becoming more equipped for my itineration assignment at the Presbyterian Center on Witherspoon Street.  Then I will have a day in the missionary housing at the Furlough Home on the Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary campus, I will be doing laundry in preparation for my flight to Portland, Oregon on Friday.  Saturday is the Cascades Presbytery summer Presbytery Meeting and I am very happy to be stateside so that I can attend this meeting for the Presbytery of my clergy membership. 

I am impressed by the Hampton Inn here.  For someone like myself who is essentially homeless at the moment it provides something of a homey atmosphere.  There are several spaces (rooms I guess) with comfortable chairs and coaches and coffee is always available.  In the mornings there is a nice breakfast provided, with more coffee.  My room does not have a frig which was a bit of a surprise after the hotel room in Detroit which DID have a frig....but the room has a wonderful bed that I am assuming is King Size and a coach and desk that give it more the feel of a bathroom/bedroom/living area.  I am grateful for that sense of American normalacy. 

More soon....
Debbie

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Dear Friends,
It has been a while since I have connected with you in this blog.  I have left Lusaka and made the journey back to the United States where I am at the moment.  I have spent the first almost three weeks of this trip in the Seattle area where my childhood and adult roots were and are.  I have been on Itineration Assignment here in Seattle;  recovering from jet lag, attempting to acquire an organized system for traveling and living out of a suitcase, preaching, joining Presbyterian Women at lunch, and conducting adult Question and Answer sessions at several local churches. 

Tomorrow I will leave this region of the United States and head for Detroit, Michigan.  There I will join thousands of other Presbyterians at the General Assembly.  I am looking forward to this time of fellowship and deliberating on how the Triune God is at work in the life of the Presbyterian Church (USA).

From this time of transition into the work of the church I will move into another period of Itineration Assignment which will take me back to the West Coast to the Presbytery of the Cascades (and my Presbytery of membership) and then to the heartland of Pennsylvania.  In Pennsylvania I will be on the staff of the New Wilmington Mission Conference and then will remain for a few days in the bounds of Shenango Presbytery preaching and doing presentations before I return to my home base of Louisville, Kentucky.

I continue to await word of my return to South Sudan and the time of the reopening of the Nile Theological College.  As of this moment the situation in South Sudan remains volatile and uncertain.  Children are out of school foraging for leaves and water lilies to supplement the meager rations that organizations such as the United Nations are able to provide to IDPs (Internally Displaced Persons) in refugee camps or on United Nations bases.  There is a real concern that famine may come in the near future to many thousands or millions of people in South Sudan.

Please continue to pray for the country of South Sudan and in particular for the faculty, staff and students of the Nile Theological College.  The longer the disruption of education is prolonged the harder it may become to resume it.
Blessings,
Debbie


Monday, February 24, 2014

More Lusaka Reflections....


February 24, 2014

I walked into a bookstore today at one of the malls here in Lusaka.  While books may be expensive in the United States they are many times more expensive overseas.  I am always grateful for Amazon.com when I go into bookstores anywhere.

I realized today that as much as I love books, and I do, I can’t books right now because I don’t know where I am going next and I don’t have a home anywhere to take anything to, let alone books.  I also realized that it is possible that my entire library of two bookcases full of books in Malakal may be gone when I return.  I am not willing to invest money in books at a moment in time when I may have lost a library. 

Saturday I went with friends (they drove me) to a once a month cultural market.  It is sponsored by the Dutch Reformed Church.  There is a similar once a month event in Addis Ababa, the NGO Bazaar.  The one in Addis is definitely a fundraiser and the one here in Lusaka is not so much.  The one on this Saturday felt much more touristy as well.  However, I was able to replace several pairs of earrings that I had originally purchased in Nairobi, Kenya.  One of the sellers at this market in Lusaka had many pairs of earrings from artists in Nairobi.  As she said, they have been doing this for a long time and they know what they are doing.  I found some joy in replacing a couple of things that may be lost in Malakal. 

After the market we went back out to the street.  There was a young boy who was limping and following us.  He said, “I’m hungry.”  My friend gave him a bagel, carefully explaining that it was not sweet.  He came up against the van that we were in and when I saw him peering into the van at the family my heart broke.  I had to fight an extremely strong desire to take him home with me.  He was looking in at something he doesn’t have, a family.  And he was cared for by something he doesn’t have, a mother.  That was what I realized, this child needs a mother.  I want to take him home. 

Poverty is dreadful.  Little children should not have to be begging for food.  We don’t have to beg for crumbs from Jesus (although that was done in order that we don’t have to do it) and these little children should not have to be begging for crumbs.  I had a thought today.   I wonder if the powers and the principalities manifest in unjust systems on earth?  That little boy, and the millions of other children like him in the world, should not have to be paying the price for an unjust global system.
In Christ,
Debbie

Monday, February 17, 2014

Language


February 17, 2014

I’ve been here in Lusaka now for two weeks.  I am deep into lesson planning for the Missiology I course that I will be teaching starting next week.  I have found out that I can get cable tv for a reasonable price and hopefully starting tomorrow I will have that. 

I have lists of things to reflect on for this blog….I need to move on and so I need to take the time right now to do some of the reflecting!

I am pretty convinced by now in my travels of the world that English is a secondary language in whatever country in which it is spoken.  Even in America it is a secondary language because the first languages are the native languages, such as Dakota.  The dominant culture in the United States has succeeded in minimizing the original languages spoken in what is now known as the United States of America to the point where most people think (or at least I did for many years) that English has always been spoken there.  Not so.

I actually don’t know if there are any countries, or cultures, in the world where English is the first language.  Obviously English started somewhere and spread, probably through colonialization and global conquest.  Even in the UK there are first original languages, Irish in Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland and Gaelic in Scotland and Welsh in Wales.  English is secondary.

The point I actually wanted to make in this blog entry is that languages put (most) Americans to shame.  Here I am in Lusaka and listening to the accented English of the Zambians and realizing day after day that English is not their first language.  When groups get up to sing in chapel on Friday mornings here at the Theological University College they often speak in their “mother” tongue, the tongue of their original people group. 

I first realized in Khartoum, Sudan, that all of my students knew at least two languages, English and their original mother tongue from their people group.  Many of them also knew Arabic and many of them knew several people group languages.  Then I was told how many languages Sudan had, it numbered in the hundreds.  I was, and am, in awe.

As a country we Americans need to find a way to make learning secondary languages more accessible and possible.  Language learning gives us a common ground with so much of the rest of the world.  I know a little bit of a few languages, so at least I can say, “I know a little bit of German, or Spanish, or Chinese, or Arabic.”  But I don’t have them mastered the way that most people in most countries have their secondary languages mastered.  And it is most people.  The colonizers, the ones who originally brought English into most of the countries around the world, are usually in a minority.  The minority language becomes the official language and thus becomes spoken by the majority as well.  Often the minority population that brought the official language does not learn the language(s) of the majority but the majority must learn the minority group language in order to access government services, medical care, education, etc.

I hope this has been a useful reflection.  More soon…
Blessings,
Debbie


Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Ruminations in Lusaka.


February 6, 2014

I’ve been here in Zambia for a few days now.  I am going to share with you some of the observations I am making as I learn more about the world and also about the African continent.

It is fairly clear to me that most people do not know what goes on in the world beyond their daily bubble.  It is also fairly clear that this is because most people are absorbed in the goings on in their daily bubbles.  I am not sure where this absorption comes from.  Why are there some people who want to know what is going on in the bigger world?  Why are there some people who seek out knowledge by reading or watching television or by finding other people to talk with, dialogue with, learn with and learn from?  I have noticed from my childhood that there are people who want their bubbles to remain closed and tight and others who almost seem to be called by God to strip the bubbles away and seek out a larger world that stretches and transforms them.

In seminary I learned about the local, the national and the global.  There are at least three different contexts that affect each person in the world.  In some places in the world, such as currently in South Sudan, the daily and the local require constant attention in order to just survive.  In more developed and peaceful places in the world, such as Zambia, the same could perhaps be true except that it has to do with making sure that the bubble isn’t threatened.  People who live in a peaceful world must keep it that way by paying attention and making sure that threats don’t enter into the prosperity.

(I just found out that there is no recycling here in Lusaka.  What a pity.)

If we look at the life of Jesus we can see our model for bursting the bubble and living a life outside of our comfort zone.  We can also see the results, after all, he ended up dead on a cross.  Even before Jesus in the Old Testament (the Hebrew Testament) we see people who burst the bubble and lived outside their comfort zone, after all we have the witness of the Prophets.  Scary, scary to be a prophet.  Most of them ended up dead too.  Granted we will all end up dead in the end, but isn’t the fantasy to die peacefully in one’s sleep?  Not at the end of a gun or a missile?
My first day here someone told me that southern Africa (this includes Zambia, Lesotho, Zimbabwe, South Africa, etc.) is in a different world from East Central Africa.  I take this to mean that they are in a prosperous bubble, although someone else told me that within the capital of Zambia, Lusaka, where I am currently residing as a resident alien, the poverty rate is 20%.  Outside of Lusaka, in the rest of Zambia, the poverty rate is 80%.  Maybe the bubble isn’t quite as thick where the prosperity isn’t shared quite as much.

So I have now figured out that East Central Africa is probably where South Sudan is located.  While south Africa has benefitted from the progressive West,  East Central Africa has adopted things like wearing men’s suits in 110 degree weather, but does not have the marks of prosperity like huge modern sterile shopping centers. 

East Central Africa must include as well countries like Kenya, Ethiopia, Uganda, Chad, etc.  I say this based on the fact that I continue to read that the countries surrounding South Sudan are concerned not only for the people of South Sudan but also about the possibility of regional unrest.  I take this to mean that the domino affect could come into play.  One country’s government falls, perhaps the next country’s government falls, etc.  So that the African Union becomes involved to shore up the falling/failing/frailing infrastructure that is barely holding South Sudan together in order that the entire region does not fall into disarray.

I am not a politician so I am sorting this out from my own perspective as someone whose bubble has been burst many years ago and tries to understand the world from the perspective of the wounded people on the ground. 

The term the West is another interesting phenomena.  The West somewhat implies looking to the West on a world map.  However, Europe is also “progressive” and Europe is really to the North of Africa.  Pretty much right above it on the world maps that I look at.  There is another term for the upper part of the globe that I cannot think of at this moment, and that term takes into account both the global North and the global West.  Why is it that the global South has been so gypped?  And are they really gypped or is that just by European and American standards that we see those areas of the globe in that way?
Back to the beginning of today’s ruminating.  I am experiencing a bubble here in south Africa, in Zambia.  I am not comfortable with this bubble.  While I used to think that I was more comfortable with the prosperity of the Western world, and the places where colonization has brought that prosperity, I don’t think this is the case any longer.  I am beginning to think that perhaps I am not comfortable anywhere anymore.

I have liked Nairobi because the marks of colonization are very evident there.  It is HUGE, GIGANTIC, the outskirts of the mega city seem to go on for miles.  The shopping centers are western meccas of wealth and the enormous variety of products that makes me almost nauseus after so long away from them.  I find myself being overwhelmed and thinking that perhaps the little country stores in the United States that are attached to gas stations are more manageable for me now.

I have not so much liked Addis Ababa in Ethiopia because it has seemed too foreign to me.  Ethiopia is the only country that was not colonized.  This is said of Liberia as well but it isn’t true.  Former African slaves from the United States colonized Liberia and made the indigenous Africans who lived there into their slaves. 

Ethiopia has seemed too foreign to me and I have not been totally comfortable there.  But now I am beginning to think that it is more comfortable than south Africa. 

South Sudan is another story altogether.  Juba, the capital of South Sudan, is not huge and gigantic (yet) like Addis Ababa or Nairobi or Lusaka.  It is however huge and gigantic compared to Malakal, or at least what Malakal was like when I last saw it on December 7th, 2013.  I think it has changed since having a war played out over its streets the last two months. 

Malakal is the capital of the Upper Nile States.  This is one of the oil producing states and Malakal is very close to the border with Sudan.  I had heard from people that Malakal was of strategic importance because it was a major garrison town during the civil war when South Sudan was part of Sudan and the north and south were at war.  Now I understand more what this really meant.  Malakal is on the Nile River and Malakal also has a paved airstrip at its airport.  These two things make it accessible and desirable for warring parties to possess.

Malakal also has been neglected.  Life there is very difficult which may be why one daydreams about the other cities in Africa.  But the reality of real life is not the same as daydreams.  I don’t like bubbles.  I don’t do well with people who don’t want to see beyond the safe walls that they have built around their prosperity and their little tiny local worlds. 

So where do I belong?  I suspect that the answer is back in Malakal, South Sudan.  Because I can actually make a difference there.  And without making a difference, what point is there in living?

I must add a caveat here.  These thoughts are about me, myself and I and do not reflect on other people who ARE making a difference here in Lusaka.  I am just realizing that I have a different calling, that is all.
Blessings,
Debbie