Learning Lessons

Dear Friends,
Greetings! I think that as a teacher I learn as much in every class as my students do. The students seem to be enjoying the conversational way that I teach as well as the dialogues that we have in class. Today things became a little bit heated and I had to act as referee some of the time, but it is a new learning experience for them and over time I believe that they have come to appreciate this style of teaching/learning.

We talked about Biblical culture and Jesus culture today, alongside South Sudanese culture. It was explained to me that not only is there segregation between the sexes here, there is also segregation between age groups. Men and women do not eat together and a mother-in-law would never eat with her son-in-law. This is to show respect to the mother-in-law. I was incredibly saddened by this as I would be very hurt if my own son-in-law was to not eat with me when I visit my daughter and him in the Seattle area. Apparently in another show of respect a son-in-law will cross a street to avoid an encounter with his mother-in-law if he sees her coming towards him. I explained to the class that in the United States this would be considered very rude for a son-in-law to avoid his mother-in-law.

I think that the other thing that was important to me today was the following. The class and I were discussing how the students, as pastors and educators, will begin to see to it that the girls and women of their congregations become educated so that they can become truly equal with the men. Since it is the men who are educated at this point and education, or lack thereof, is a stumbling block to equal access to other cultures in the world, etc., the girls and women must be brought to an equal playing field. Or, to look at it another way, the ground at the foot of the cross must be equalized. Since it was all women apostles who were at the foot of the cross the women need to know this truth and know that Jesus died to set them free and give them the opportunity to live abundantly in that freedom. This freedom includes the right to learn how to read and write, to travel, to know other cultures, and to eat at table with their husbands and children.

The men in this all male class told me that they do not eat with their wives. For the most part their wives become upset if they try to help them with cooking or doing dishes or any other part of the household care. I made a statement which led me to this conclusion: If a 30 year old man is marrying a 14 year girl who has no education, is illiterate, and immediately begins to have babies, what in the world are they going to have to talk about? That is when the light bulb went off. WHAT IN THE WORLD WILL THEY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT?????? No wonder the men don't eat with their wives. At this historical moment in time what kind of conversations can these men and women have with another when there world experiences are so far apart.

As long as men marry women who are so much younger than they are, who have no education and are not literate, they are marrying women with whom having a RELATIONSHIP is not the primary goal. These marriages truly are for producing children. When women begin to be educated and are able to read and write and have meaningful discussions, then perhaps men will marry women closer to their own ages. When women are educated perhaps they will feel that they have the right to insist on birth control and not only waiting until older than age 14 to marry, but also older than this to begin having children. They may insist on waiting to marry and have children until their bodies are physically ready to handle sexual relationships and childbirth.

And perhaps when women are educated and conversant on the subjects which come to interest both men and women, maybe, just maybe, husbands, wives and children will sit down at table together and talk to one another. And maybe it will become acceptable for the entire family to contribute to the household chores and the cooking.

I am praying.
Blessings,
Debbie